. . .it is good to "give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: because his mercy endureth for ever." -Psalm 118:1
Our family has had a roller coaster for the past couple of months. We had two dear girls visit us in August. When they left we were getting all excited about visiting dear friends on the other side of the continent. Two days before departure we found out we were expecting a baby. WHAT!? some of you may say. That is exactly what we were thinking. Since it has been 10 years since we had a miscarriage and we have never been able to conceive since, I had pretty much decided that we never would. So you can only imagine the disbelief. We left on our trip with excitement building. Can you imagine? After 10 years. . .but it still seemed too soon to even believe. I was so glad that we had plans for 10 days or so. The midwife told me that I couldn't have an ultrasound to look for heartbeat until 8 weeks. So after a WONDERFUL time of visiting with friends, we arrived home safe and sound. How exciting to go to the hospital that day to see our little heartbeat. Only there wasn't one. Don't worry they said. You just aren't as far along as we thought. Only 6 weeks instead of 8. That sounded like a stretch, but we wanted it to be true. Oh, yeah! You bet we did. We prayed a lot. They scheduled me to come back in for another ultrasound in 3 weeks. Well I didn't make it that far. Two weeks later, because of spotting I went in. Still measured 6. We were crushed. There have been lots of whys. LOTS of whys. Why after 10 years did this happen? The next day, we lost our baby. So all of it has been so unreal. Through it all, God has been with us. I haven't always found it easy to say this. I have wondered at times where He was, but He has constantly sent me signs that HE IS. I haven't been so good and accepting as I wish I could, but healing is coming. God is so good. Counting my blessings now is so important. Last Sunday we heard a message about how it is okay to ask why, but just don't get bogged down in it. I think I had been guilty of getting bogged down in my whys. What a good reminder. We have SO MANY blessings. . .
...
166 - a new nephew
167 - kiddos and cousins
168 - summer sisters
169 - kiddos enjoying school lessons
170 - puppy love
171 - first visit to a cavern as a family
172 - saying good-bye to pups after finding homes for them
173 - visiting friends
174 - loosing teeth
175 - help with the dishes
176 - seeing God when my heart is breaking
8 comments:
OH Denise I am so sorry. After all those years you do have to wonder why put you thru that pain for nothing. I remember my no heartbeat ultrasound after 4 tries of IVF, just terrible.
I'm thinking of you......
We are praying for you, we know the excitement of looking for a little one & then the pain & hurt of realizing HIS plan is not what we had thought!May you be able to rest in Proverbs 3:5...Love to you...
I'm sorry Denise. Sometimes I wonder why we've never had the blessing of a pregnancy after 8 years...but then I look at my children and I know. I know that we wouldn't have answered the call to adoption had He blessed us with biological children. Praying for you all...
My heart aches for you as I read this. I know the pain and emptiness this causes. I will be in prayer for you, and your family. Children are such a blessing that is oftentimes taken carelessly for granted. Thank you for sharing. Love in Christ
Praying for you and Joe and want you to know we love you. Sorry to hear you have to go through this again; it has to be hard.God is with you and His ways are higher than ours. May He give you strength to praise Him in this storm.
I was just studying Job and his suffering... God explains to him that we aren't supposed to understand why things happen to us, if we knew the answer why, then we wouldn't need our faith. God works all things together for good. It seems easy enough to understand, and then something happens and we can find ourselves going down that road. Love you guys, love that baby. God loves you more. Miss you!
Oh Denise....I just stumbled upon your blog again, has been so long since I have been here and Now my heart is aching for your pain!! I am so sorry, please know we will be covering you all in prayer!!! And as Dec comes and you wait on Him for your house selling?! Would love to have you come to IN for a good visit!! He is faithful and will see you thru, our prayer is that you feel His peace and comfort in HUGE ways!! Love you much!! The Skiles'
Just found out about this heartache today when Monica was here. My heart is aching for you all knowing how excited your whole family was. The many times Ethan has prayed for a baby . . . Praying for you, Joe, Ethan and Elisa. God is good - He is faithful, cast all your burdens on Him because He does care for you!! I have thought of you much lately and regret not keeping in touch better. I have missed you and the memory verses. I know you are busy so call when you have time to catch up. Will be praying for the Lords leading and will in your life. Love you all. Judy
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